


The Costume

by alvahana



Category: White Collar
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-11
Packaged: 2018-02-24 22:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2599496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alvahana/pseuds/alvahana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That one time when Neal didn’t want to go undercover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Costume

“Seriously, Peter?” Neal stared at the clothes Peter was holding in front of him.

“Mm-hmm,” Peter said, obviously not trying to conceal the smirk playing on his lips.

“Um…don’t you think it’s a little flimsy?”

“I’m sure you can make it work. There’s nothing the Neal Caffrey I know can’t handle.”

Neal rolled his eyes. “I believe not even a male model can put this on without looking ridiculous,” he hissed. “I’d rather stay in the van with you guys this time. Can’t you send someone else?”

“Our suspect is slippery. I’m not comfortable with sending in a junior agent. And she's already seen Jones and Blake,” Peter explained. “Besides, you’re the one who volunteered to go undercover in the first place.”

“When I volunteered I didn’t know I’d be a stripper playing dress-up.”

“It’s the best way to get close to the suspect. You will go undercover wearing this. This is an order,” Peter said, trying to look stern but failed completely. He pushed the clothes to Neal, who groaned and accepted it with reluctance.

“That’s part of the job. Deal with it, Caffrey,” Diana chimed in playfully as she and Jones entered Peter’s office. “Here, we found the straw hat in the storage room.” She put it on Neal’s head, who took it off immediately.

“Come on, Neal, don’t make such a fuss,” Peter said, grinning again. “It’s no big deal.”

Neal arched his eyebrows. “Oh really? Why don’t _you_ put this on and go dance on a stage with dozens of women leering at you?”

“I…would if I could,” the agent hesitated. “But I’m ASAC now, which means I can’t go undercover all the time. Even if I could, El wouldn’t let me.”

“This isn’t really that outrageous in the male stripper world,” Jones offered. At Neal’s doubtful look, he continued, “I hear a guy working in the night club a couple of blocks away has been dressing up as the Ken Doll. The ladies _love_ him!”

They all turned to Jones at the same time. “How do you know that?” Diana asked.

Jones gave a shrug. “A buddy of mine works there.”

With a distasteful expression, Neal started to examine the costume. “Why do you guys have this, anyway? Doesn’t look like your weekend casual wear.”

“It’s one of the costumes of our division’s Halloween party a few years ago,” Peter replied. “Plus the shirt and trousers, of course.”

“Don’t you have something more normal? A doctor or a pilot, may be?”

“Why would you want anything else? Everybody loves Woody,” Diana said. “Theo can’t keep his eyes off the TV every time I put the Toy Story DVDs on.”

“This Woody is in his underwear,” Neal pointed out.

“He also has his vest, scarf and cowboy boots,” Peter teased. “Even wears a hat, just like you!”

The glare Neal shot him could kill. “Ha ha. Very funny.”

That made Peter’s smug grin turn even wider. Jones tried to muffle his laugh with a cough. Diana didn’t even bother hiding it; Neal was surprised she didn’t point a finger at him while laughing. Neal looked down at the costume again and gave a long-suffering sigh.

“I’d rather dress up as Buzz. With a space suit like that, at least I’d be safe from those touchy-feely ladies.”


End file.
